FADE IN:
EXT. ESTATE LONDON.
A huge dirty tower block. The door opens and she walks out. A youth in white sweat top with a Bull terrier walks in.
Moving on her. She walks through the estate.
ACTRESS (16)
You can’t choose your dad, funny most the girls I grew up with don’t know theirs. You can not choose your mum or the street ,town, city, country your born in. Would anyone choose to be born here? Would they?
For every kid we have a pit bull every block has a dealer. They were trying to sell me crack before I left play school. Don’t get me wrong life isn't always bad on the estate. Between your flat being rob the police kicking down your neighbors door a five in the morning, we have some fun times. Only its soon forgotten as the fear of walking alone to the bus stop grips you or that your being followed by three boys you have never seen before. You have a mobile ... you just do not have any one to phone.
My dad ... My dad ... I only remember visiting him at wormwood scrubs once. My mother soon found a new man to abuse her. She likes to play the victim she likes being poor and moaning about her life and how no one helps her? When she has never helped anyone or cared for anyone other then her self.
As for me! I am just a accident ... She use to scream it at me when I was a kid! Your the result of a drunken night! An accident! The word love has never passed her lips. Not to my ears. I have never been hugged by her. Am I angry Once ... not now.
I had a half brother he was six years older then me. He like me and look after me when I was younger ... only he got into brown then the pipe and he just seem to fade away. I found him dead in his bed.
My mum went through his room looking for money, then sent me
to the shop for fags before she phoned an ambulance.
She stops by some shops on the estate and looks around.
It is like a small family here everyone knows each other, lots are related. Families that have lived here since it was built. Strange thing is no one trust anyone. They all talk about you when your not around, love it if they find out you been caught cheating on the dole or working while claiming. They hate it if you get something better then them, a new bike or car? Evan a job. They smile and make small talk ... Yet they hate you having something good or doing something like work? The very people who smile at you will steal your bike or car with out even blinking. Then look you in the eye and advise you to call the old bill? A few days later you see your bike. You don’t ask for it back. They know, you never would. Dailey you sidestep the dog shit and litter, across the street you see your first boy friend who has three kids by three girls a lucky escape or what !
You can not pick where your born ... but you can pick where your going in your own life. You can be the same like a hamster on a wheel or you can choose a different path. You can copy those around you, listen to and believe all the rubbish they believe or you can make something off your self. Not that I am different from the people I have lived with. I am the same I just think different.
It was when I saw my mum vomiting in the lift and my best friend give birth at thirteen I knew that I had to change my life. I didn't want to be a drunk a junkie a whore a child mother or a child bride, unemployed and believing that there was no way but this way.
In a sense life is easy on the estate. The council pays the bills and the Government gives you enough to have a life. But
it’s not living. My Grandad told me that once everyone on the estate had a job? Hard to believe. I grew up with vice drugs and stolen goods. And I am happy to be leaving it behind and my hope is that others will do the same. It could have been a great place to grow up and live! It wasn't.
It is just a great place to leave!
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